Raising a Child with Hyperfixation
By Margo Fourman
Table of Contents
Having a hyperfixated child can be a real challenge. It puts a strain on the parents, and often on the whole family.
This article will help you understand your child’s hyperfixation and help you recognize that dealing with hyperfixation is a real and common experience. These insights will offer you strategies to help your child turn their tendency to hyperfocus into a strength.
This article will help you understand your child’s hyperfixation and help you recognize that dealing with hyperfixation is a real and common experience. These insights will offer you strategies to help your child turn their tendency to hyperfocus into a strength.
In this article, we’ll cover:
- What hyperfixation is
- The reasons why children hyperfixate
- The potential benefits of the ability to hyperfixate (when a person can move from hyperfixation towards a positive experience of flow).
- The most common challenges of raising a hyperfixated child – and how to to understand what’s really going on for your child
- What you can do to make things better – for yourself and for your child
What is Hyperfixation?
Hyperfixation is complete absorption in a task, to a point where a person appears to ignore or ‘tune out’ everything else.
Hyperfixation is characterized by:
Hyperfixation is characterized by:
- An intense state of concentration and focus.
- Ignoring one’s own physical needs
- Ignoring other people or other external stimuli
- Focusing on things that the person finds enjoyable or fascinating.
- During a hyperfixation state, task performance improves.
Why Does Your Child Hyperfixate?
There is research that shows that people with ADHD, ASD (Autism Spectrum) tend to fall into states of hyperfixation more frequently than neurotypical people, but there is very little research into why this happens.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that hyperfixation may be pleasurable for different reasons:
Anecdotal evidence suggests that hyperfixation may be pleasurable for different reasons:
- It can be a way to distract from or avoid unwelcome stimulation: This can be a result of hypersensitivities to sensory input like sounds, things they see, smell, or even perception of movement or other people. So hyperfixation can be about self protection
While they are in the state of hyperfixation, all other things disappear from conscious awareness, giving relief from the sensory overload they have.
For some, placing intense focus on one activity distracts them from uncomfortable emotional states such as their chronic anxiety or depression. - It’s a substitute for real world social interaction: For some neurodiverse children social interaction can be stressful. This is especially true for people with ASD (autism spectrum) or AUDHD. Social media and multi-player games give the experience of social interaction, without having to actually engage in real world social interactions. For people who find social interactions stressful this can be a welcome substitute.
Being absorbed in a pleasurable activity for hours on end also provides an opportunity to avoid conflict. - The activity is intrinsically fascinating and absorbing for the person: Often the object of hyperfixation is an enjoyable but unproductive use of time. People with ADHD often report that they can’t engage in something unless it is exciting and pleasurable. This may be because it leads to the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that tends to be low for people with ADHD.
Challenges of raising a child with hyperfixation
If you have a hyperfixated child, you’re probably all too familiar with the items in the list below.
The symptoms are familiar, but what’s really going on for your child when these things happen? We’ll offer a short explanation of each one.
Later in the article, we’ll talk about how you can start to redirect your child’s hyperfixation from time-wasting activities to productive endeavors.
The symptoms are familiar, but what’s really going on for your child when these things happen? We’ll offer a short explanation of each one.
Later in the article, we’ll talk about how you can start to redirect your child’s hyperfixation from time-wasting activities to productive endeavors.
The following are common Concerns About Hyperfixation in Children:
Impact on daily life
- Neglect of responsibilities
Chores do not get done when children are hyperfixated on an activity.
For most youngsters, doing household chores is not their highest priority in life.
And for hyperfocused kids, chores are often even lower down the list.
We suggest mapping out a weekly calendar with your child to help them plan their time. When are they going to do the chores? When are they going to do their homework? And – importantly for your child – when are they going to be able to fully immerse themselves in their hyperfixation?
It’s important that this is a visual calendar they can see, not just a conversation.
If they can see where everything fits, and when they’re going to get to do what they most want to do, it’s often easier for them to follow the schedule.
- Not getting their homework done
There’s a fundamental problem here.
Most schooling and homework is oriented to rote learning and passing exams.
That doesn’t work well for children in general, and is even worse for hyperfocused and neurodiverse kids. (Many hyperfocused children are also neurodiverse, which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s something to keep in mind.)
If the homework doesn’t match their particular interests, and the teaching style doesn’t match their preferred learning style, it’s always going to be hard to get them to do their homework.
Not starting homework is often about not fully understanding the first step they need to take. Reasons differ, so you may find it useful to talk to someone individually about this.
The best solution to the homework problem, in our opinion, is to work with a specialist tutor who can help them understand and deal with whatever is getting in their way.
- Social isolation
Intense focus on a specific interest can lead to a lack of social interaction with peers and family.
If possible, encourage interests in physical activity or sports. For ADHD physical activity may be a welcome break from focused attention and can provide an opportunity for socialization. If sports are challenging, choose activities that are not competitive. Seek out clubs for youngsters who share interests – Nature? Sailing? Chess? Even computer clubs.
Consider providing opportunities to meet people who share their interests. Accept that computer games that involve other people may be a place to practice social interactions.
- Living in their own world
The world can be an overwhelming, demanding place. If that is what a person feels, they may narrow their engagements and interactions and disconnect from the world around them. This can be a contributing factor, as we have mentioned before.
Addressing the sources of the overwhelm (sensory, environmental, social, family issues etc.) may allow an individual to open up to the world around them.
Talk to us if you would like help unpicking and sorting out what is happening with your child, as every child is different.
- Self-care issues
This may be more of a problem with children who have poorly developed interoception – awareness of your body – which is not uncommon with neurodiversity. In other words, they may be unaware of when they need to eat, whether they are hot or cold, or need to use the bathroom.
We suggest looking into what’s going on with their sensory systems – it is possible to get better connected with the body and its sensations. This can be very challenging for parents. Talk to us.
Emotional health and behavioral effects
- Difficulty switching focus
Children may struggle to transition from their hyperfixation to other necessary activities, leading to frustration for both the child and parents.
Some children may benefit from planned breaks with timers (Pomodoro technique). The standard 20 minute timer may be too long or too short for you. Experiment and see what works. Agreed end points and plans for what would follow may work for some. Provide 5-minute and then 3-minute warnings (so they have two warnings). Avoid blame if they cannot pull out. - Emotional volatility and burnout
After coming out of hyperfixation, the child may be feeling worse, and may act out or simply need to crash. Even adults take time to recover after hyperfixation, so please be gentle with your child.
It may be useful to provide them with healthy, attractive food and water. Sometimes going outside in nature can be helpful. Sometimes the space to run may be what they need. - Increased anxiety
Hyperfixation can sometimes be a coping mechanism for underlying anxiety or stress, which may require attention. - Sleep disruption
Intense focus on activities, especially screen time, can interfere with sleep patterns, leading to fatigue and irritability.
Routines may help, but we think it’s worth investigating if sleep disruptions are not only a result of intense focus on activities late at night. Sleep irregularities can result from one’s diet or developmental differences.
Relationship dynamics
- Parental stress
Parents may feel overwhelmed trying to manage their child’s hyperfixation, leading to feelings of burnout or frustration. - Unrealistic expectations
Parents might inadvertently set high expectations based on their child’s interests, which can create pressure and anxiety for the child. When a child is hyperfixated on a topic of interest, they may or may not be able to take that another step towards excellence or performance. Listen to your child. - Waste of time
Oftentimes, the hyperfixations of kids can seem like a total waste of time to their parents.
The things children are interested in may help them develop useful skills – if they are taught how to generalize those skills and use them in other situations. Topics that the children are interested in, with a bit of imagination, can be used to teach most parts of the curriculum. But it takes skill and ingenuity from parents and teachers. Talk to us.
How you can help your child have a better, more successful life
- Let your child feel you’re not judging them
Don’t refer to their hyperfocus negatively as “obsession” or “laziness” or “a waste of time”. Accept that they enjoy it and recognize the depth of engagement it brings. Help your child learn to put limits on time and understand consequences. Attwood, 2019. Positive framing fosters cooperation and self-esteem.
- Use the child’s intense interests to engage them in learning and life
Dawson & Guare, 2018. Strength-based motivation improves attention and compliance. - Help your child to find balance
Teach your child to notice physical and emotional cues (hunger, tiredness, frustration). Use timers, visual schedules, or gentle reminders to help them step away from deep focus before exhaustion or irritability sets in. Barkley, 2022. Self-regulation supports reduce “post-hyperfocus crash.” - Encourage restorative downtime
Prepare your children to manage their hyperfocus independently as they grow older. Encourage them to rest after intense focus periods. Rest from a screen may involve outdoor physical activities. Rest from physical activities may involve quiet time. Teach that recovery strategies are essential to excellence. Hupfeld et al., 2019 — adults report fatigue and burnout after prolonged hyperfocus.
It is important to recognize early signs of stress or impending burnout and for them to learn to recognize those in themselves. Look for signs of stress: holding breath, changes in muscle tone, changes in skin color. If these are ignored, burnout becomes more likely resulting in fatigue, irritability, loss of interest, or poor sleep following long focus bouts; adjust routines accordingly. Irving et al., 2021.
- Create structured “transition rituals”
Schedule breaks and use a signal (like a bell) to introduce the change of activities. Establish calm, predictable ways to shift between the hyperfocused and non-focused activities (e.g., short walks, a bit of yoga, quiet music). Avoid sudden interruptions, which can provoke distress. Koffarnus et al., 2020 — gradual disengagement preserves mood and cooperation in ADHD/ASD groups. - Maintain social connection
Balance solitary focused time with structured social or family time so children learn to reconnect and communicate their experiences. - Recognize that hyperfocus is a double-edged trait
Hyperfocus can help a child learn deeply and perform exceptionally in areas of passion, but it can also cause neglect of other needs (sleep, food, hygiene, social contact). Hupfeld et al., 2019; Irving et al., 2021 - Recognize that hyperfixation is not a conscious choice
Although it’s difficult not to get frustrated, it is more useful to look at long term solutions and to plan ahead than to react with anger which may push them deeper into the need to withdraw.