Autism can be hard. Hard for the autistic child, hard for the parents, hard for the teachers.

We are talking here about the children who may be bright and hard-working but somehow always struggle. They may struggle with learning, or they may be good with academics but struggle with life, or they may be late to develop some of their abilities.

The children whose overly direct and honest remarks may be perceived as rudeness. The children who sometimes find the world baffling and inconsistent. The children who find it hard to cope with the school environment: light, sound, people. Even if they don’t have meltdowns they may be anxious or depressed, or both. Social situations are often stressful and confusing.

Some schools are trying harder to accommodate students with autism. There may be safe spaces or withdrawal rooms. But for those who work hard and try hard, and aren’t perceived as disruptive, there is often little or no practical support. Children are still being asked to just act normal, to mask, to hide their discomfort.

That seems logical to people who do not understand the impact of stress and masking on life and learning.

Your child may be as frustrated as you are, perhaps even more.

Nobody seems to understand them. They are fighting to figure out how to “be normal”, but it just doesn’t work out for them.

It can be heartbreaking to watch.

As parents, it is all too easy to blame ourselves, but there is no blame. We do everything we can to support them.

Some can learn social rules to help them survive, but that’s far from a complete solution. It’s patchwork – it helps them function but it doesn’t necessarily help them thrive.

Here’s the reality…

Dealing with unpredictable social situations can be challenging for them. The stress of unfamiliar public places or new environments may even trigger meltdowns.

The social rules they have carefully learnt do not necessarily translate to new situations. They may need to constantly learn new social rules and how to apply them.

All that stress makes everything more difficult. Sensitivities become more raw and coping becomes more and more of a challenge.

It is important to unpick exactly what is causing the stress and learn how to reduce sensitivities, adapt environments where necessary, and improve communication skills – from small talk to writing essays.

How to go about it?

The only way to achieve this is to get personal guidance from a specialist who actually understands autism, how to manage it, and most importantly, how to work with your child to balance sensitive systems and develop an ability to fit into society when they want to. This can reduce stress, and that in itself can help them to think and communicate more effectively.

Many experts rely on behaviourist techniques. We don’t. We are not interested in extrinsic motivation. We address underlying neurodevelopmental challenges, sensory hyper and hypo sensitivities, and help develop self knowledge. As life-long learners they then have a better ability to adapt their approach when they meet new situations. This gives the best chance of success as they move through education and eventually into work.

We suggest you use these four steps to achieve success with your child on the autism spectrum:

Investigate with us what’s really going on.
Develop your child’s true learning potential through an individualized neurodevelopmental home program.
Work with a specialist autism tutor who actually understands what autism is, to develop strategies for effective learning
Apply what you’ve learned to help your child become an effective, independent lifelong learner.

If you would like to talk with one of our experts to discuss what would be the best approach to support your child on the autism spectrum, book a free consultation today.

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