People labelled as dyslexic, dyspraxic, autistic or with ADHD often feel their ideas go unheard and underappreciated.
As a young teacher, once a week at staff meetings an issue would be raised, we would discuss it, choose a solution, and then go off and do it. As the dyslexic dyspraxic in the room I was a good problem solver. I always had a solution to offer. Unfortunately no one took my ideas seriously – except my friend Bernie, who would repeat my idea in his own words. Everyone would immediately love “his” idea and it would be enthusiastically implemented.
Working with many neurodiverse people over the years made me realise that my experience was not unique. I realised that like me, other neurodiverse people with labels such as dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism or ADHD often feel unheard or unrecognised.
Neurodiverse people tend to think differently. Dyslexics like me often think in patterns and associations. This allows us to see connections that others don’t, making us excellent problem solvers. The dyspraxic can often just see the solution in a pure ‘aha’ moment and the person with ADHD can see the complexity and possibilities in a flash. Many on the autism spectrum can collate and sort information and patterns that others don’t.
Like most of us I have overlapping co-occurrence, which means I am dyslexic and a bit dyspraxic and probably a bit ADHD too… It was not until I was 50 that I realised that I was not communicating in a way that my colleagues could really understand.
In order to communicate our unique insights we need to fully understand how our experiences differ from that of our listeners. My experience is that they often cannot keep up with the richness and complexity of our ideas and our thought patterns. If we want them to hear us, to take us seriously, we need to meet them where they are, and gently introduce them to our ideas. We need to understand how they think in order to know how to better communicate with them.
The remedy to this dilemma is often uniquely personal… it’s not just about how they think but precisely how that differs from our expectations of their understanding.
How can neurodiverse thinkers learn to be heard?
We are only 10% of the population, the minority, and the others are the 90%, so it’s up to us to adjust our communication approach if we want to be heard. The good news is that as creative problem solvers, once we understand how other people think we are often able to change the way we present our ideas so people actually listen to us…
The dyslexic needs to understand that while we are comfortable leaping from topic to topic like jumping from branch to branch in a mind map, others are often unable to keep up with us. We need to learn how to recognise when we have lost our listeners and how to go back and collect them.
We need to lead them carefully, guiding them from idea to idea, step by step, until we move them from where they are to where we want them to be.
This applies both in spoken situations and in writing.
We have been teaching this to dyslexics for years, and I believe it’s the single most important lesson I teach. We’ve seen students who have practised this turn their lives around. Bullying has disappeared, communication with teachers has improved and even family relationships have improved.
A few students “get it” in a way they can actually use it the first time around. However, it usually takes at least some coaching and careful adaptation to make the magic happen.
For me this was life changing. Being heard is one of the most fundamental human needs. It is necessary for personal, professional and academic success.
If you would like to talk with one of our experts to discuss what would be the best approach to tutoring your dyslexic child, book a free consultation today.
