Margo Fourman
Despite working in education and being a teacher her entire life, Margo struggled with severe dyslexia and dyspraxia for most of her life. At age 50 she finally discovered how to turn her disability into a superpower. She now supports students around the world in doing the same for themselves.
“Can’t you stop obsessing about that and do what you're supposed to be doing!?”
As you know all too well, your child's hyperfixation can be a handful. They're so focused on one thing that they often neglect their schoolwork and family.
Other parents judge you without understanding what you’re dealing with.
You’ve followed the traditional, well-intentioned advice to 'manage' their hyperfixation by setting limits on their time and controlling their schedules.
Which makes sense…
...to people who don’t understand what’s actually going on for someone who hyperfixates.
Your child is just as frustrated as you are. Nobody seems to understand them. They want to dedicate their time to one thing, and no one gets just how important it is to them.
It can be heartbreaking to watch; they are constantly fighting to do what they really want, while being pulled in different directions to do what everyone else wants them to do.
But it’s not your fault - you’ve been doing all you can to help them.
Sure, they can learn how to control their hyperfixation to get other things done, but that’s far from a complete solution. It’s patchwork - it helps them get by but it doesn’t help them thrive.
Here’s the reality…
Your child has an ability to focus like few others have. That's why, later in life, they'll be able to apply their hyperfocus to achieve incredible success in whatever career they choose.
But that's also why it's so hard for them to manage their other responsibilities as a student and family member. They're always feeling tugged in many directions to do things that just aren't that important to them.
They not only need to figure out how to get their homework and chores done, but they also need to learn how to apply their ability to hyperfocus productively.
The only way to achieve this is to get personal guidance from someone who actually
understands hyperfixation, how to manage it, and most importantly, how to work with your child to apply the positive benefits of their hyperfixation.
It's not that they are wasting their time or that you have not raised them right. It’s that the “experts” try to force your child to control their hyperfixation, instead of helping them learn how to use it.
For those who hyperfixate, there are specific secrets to succeeding in college... and in life.
Think about it. Hyperfixation is a human trait that has evolved over millions of years and appears everywhere around the world. So it must have an evolutionary advantage, or it would have died out. You just need to help your child learn what that evolutionary advantage is and how to use it to their benefit.
Many of the things you’ve been told are wrong:
- They have probably been told that they need to control their hyperfixation and hyperfixate less.
A better solution is to help them understand how hyperfixation can be used effectively.
- They have probably been told that they're wasting their time and need to focus on more important things. This is true, but it’s only part of the story.
Sure, if they're hyperfocused on something that doesn't move their life forward, then that can take up a lot of their time. But even so, they're still developing the skill of hyperfocus, which is a great asset.
- Perhaps the biggest myth of all is that hyperfixation is a problem. People tend to miss the fact that hyperfixation is a trait of almost all top performers. Their hyperfixation can actually support them to succeed in life.
Getting advice from people who don’t deeply understand hyperfixation is like bringing an airplane to a car mechanic. They aren’t going to know what to do with it, so they’ll change the oil and send you on your way.
Oxford Specialist Tutors are the airplane mechanics. We understand how hyperfixation really works, so we can show them how to turn what others consider a problem into a superpower.
We aren’t here to teach math, chemistry, or any specific subject. We’re here to teach your child how they excel - and to adapt with them as they progress through college and their courses get progressively more difficult.
Once they learn to apply their hyperfixation productively, they will not just keep up with their classmates, but excel. As you both start to see the improvement, the tension in your family will dissolve and be replaced by hope, understanding… and achievement.
All their life, they've been told that their hyperfixation is a problem. We’ll show them how to bring out their best and turn their hyperfixation into a superpower.
Through working with Oxford Specialist Tutors, I’ve learned a lot about how my ADHD - Hyperfocus brain works, and how to harness it to my best advantage.
In the mornings, I sometimes wake up in hyperfocus mode, in which case I get straight to work.
But most mornings, I wake up in full-on ADD mode. My brain is filled with a thousand thoughts and ideas, and flits from topic to topic in rapid fire. I cannot focus on one thing, but I am having useful thoughts about everything that’s on my mind. And there are a LOT of things on my mind!
When that happens, I used to try to force myself to focus, but it never worked. And I’d get really stressed in the process.
Now, instead, I let my brain flit around for as long as it needs to - while I take a walk, drink a coffee, or just gaze out of the window.
Once my brain is ready to settle, only then do I bring my focus down to just one thing.
When my brain is ready, that’s really easy to do, and I get into a hyper focused state of extreme productivity. “In the zone” as some people call it.
I’ve also learned that I need time to switch from one focus to another. If I try to switch too fast, again I get stressed out and cannot focus.
So instead, I always take a break between different topics of focus.
Overall, understanding how my brain works, and how to manage my ADD and hyperfocus has made my life a lot less stressful, and a lot more productive.
David
ADHD - Hyperfocus
If you would like to talk with one of our experts to discuss what would be the best approach to support your hyperfixating child, book a free consultation today.
